When it comes to marriage, don’t strive for perfection, instead, aim for “HAPPILY EVER AFTER”. Whether you’re a couple who are going to get married or a newlywed or the one that has nearly grown old together, you know MARRIAGES NEED WORK. It’s not a matter of few months or years, it’s a lifelong commitment that requires efforts every day. Here we have mentioned tips for the happy marriage:
- Continue embracing your independence:
One of the biggest things that often cause the problem in marriage is people losing their independence. Yes, being together and being dependant on each other are two different things. Hence the first tip for a happy marriage is to “be independent”. By being dependant on each other, you are weakening your resolvement and your individual thinking as well. Only when you’re happy, you can think of a happy marriage. Hence even after marriage, you should continue doing your work, embrace your hobbies and space and most importantly yourself. This little absence from each other’s life makes you fond of each other more. Also, it makes everything a lot exciting as you have got a lot to talk about and to support each other. Only when you are stronger by yourself, you can commit wholeheartedly for a stronger relationship with your partner.
- Learn to agree on “disagreement”
This is one of the important things to understand for a happy marriage. Being together doesn’t change the fact that you still are two different individuals with a distinctive set of mind. And hence there will be times when you will not agree with each other over things. Couples can have a different attitude for the same thing, unique opinions, and belief systems. The good news is, it is totally fine and normal. You will have some level of disagreement with your partner. The key is to respect each other’s point of view. The tip is to agree on their disagreement as well. It’s not always the right and the wrong between two things; sometimes it can be just different. For instance, while your wedding preparations, your partner might want to choose traditional Indian wedding cards, but you are in favour of digital Indian wedding invites. Nobody is right or wrong in it, just different.
- Be a good listener
After reading this, most men are saying, it’s something their wives need to work upon. But we are talking about you as a couple and hence each one of you should pay equal attention to it. Hearing things is not considered as “listening”. It’s an activity that involves utmost attention and a full heart. You have to be open to what your partner is saying. Eye contact is again necessary along with little paraphrasing and reassurance. You have to listen to each other to lead a happy marriage.
- Understand their language of love
One of the things you have to understand is that you can’t decide the way in which your partner shows his or her affection and love for you. Everyone has their own way of communicating love. For some, it’s leaving little notes by the bed table for you, for some, it’s as simple as washing out the dishes for you so that you have a little less to worry about. Showing love doesn’t have to be all cheesy and flirtatious, it can be a mere assistance in your task, a little help in your chores, or even incorporating your “particulars” like choosing your favorite colour for your Indian wedding cards. You have to figure out the language of love your partner use not for your own mental peace, but for little cherished as well. You have to pay attention in which they communicate their love without obvious actions and embrace them in your own ways.
- Acceptance is the key
Lack of acceptance is one biggest reason that has destroyed many marriages. Change is inevitable and you have to accept the fact that your spouse will not be the same who he or she was then and who they are now. It is difficult but you have to accept them with all their good and bad as well. Every person has some flaws, little imperfections that make them who they are, who you fall in love with. So instead of focusing them on their negatives, or trying to change them, you should point your focus on their positives and accept them. Remember how beautifully you accept the quirky design she chooses for your Indian wedding invitations, doesn’t her smile make it all worth it? Accept more and expect less.
- Take responsibility for your actions
This tip is one of the biggest secrets for happy and successful marriages. When you participate in something together, it is necessary to take responsibility for its success as well as its failure. Even when you have a fight or any heated argument, learn to take responsibility for your words and actions especially if they offend or hurt your partner. Only when you take responsibility, you can apologise for your irrational actions. For instance, if you forgot to mention the venue while giving details for your Indian wedding cards take the responsibility and make necessary amendments. Your partner will surely appreciate your actions.
- Say a big no-no to “Taken for granted”
One of the biggest reasons that many marriages fail is that partners start taking each other for granted. It starts to slip as soon as you start taking it for granted. Your marriage is a lifelong commitment where you should respect each other, praise each other’s work, continue strive to impress each other and most importantly leave no chance to express it. Assumptions don’t work for long and hence you should let your actions speak for your love as well.
In the nutshell, it’s about accepting your partner in all their forms and loves every single one of it. But that doesn’t mean you have to deprive yourself of some little “SELF LOVE”. You have to work with each other and for each other.